Completely Grossed Out

A little bit ago, I answer the phone. On this shift, during this time of week its usually an ambulance call or SO checking warrants. I see an out of area, heck outta state number, just figure its an alarm call.
Yeah an alarm of a different sort. I answered Police Dept. The sick male proceed to ask me if I can handle what he's got, among a few others that I can't stand the thought of repeating. I kept telling the guy he had the wrong number and that this was a police department. Guess that excited him more. I cover the mouth piece and yell for the officer in the back and the guy starts repeating what he said to me. Phone call ended with the officer saying sure come on by the PD and lets see what you got.
I ran the number thru the computer and the only thing I could get was it was a cell phone from around the Washington DC area. So if some guy comes in here with his goods hanging out. I will find a cattle prod and give the guy something to really get off on and locate the officer for telling him to come on down.
So that said I really feel the need to bathe.

What the heck??!!!!

I know I said no more depressing blogs, but......
OMG some days all I gotta do is open my mouth and I tick people off. If you happen to have an opinion and state it firmly its "Oh someones in a bad mood"
I'm having to pull a double shift, which is fine. I really want the comp time, less vacation time that I have to use. So my spouse shows up and he's questioning some calls etc.. that I've taken and starts acting all know it all. First of all I did my job and what was required if someone else didn't its NOT my fault. OK so yeah I got a little snippy. I feel like I'm on the freaking other side and being interviewed for a murder. Every little thing I do is questioned til I'm ready to throttle him. Which then leads me to wanting to scream this is my job STAY THE %&@ OUT.
We are both in law enforcement and its a small town so there's going to be a little bit of involvement.
BUT... when half the time he knows more about what's going on in my work place than I do?? Oh and to top it off everyone on day shift knows about everything I do, from female problems to how much weight I've lost to OMG. I don't know what to do, I have asked, even threatened him to stop telling my personal business. Those guys are my coworkers, not my friends. HELLO my friends already know whats going on with me. Well at least the things I'm willing to tell.
OK I really need a vacation from not only work, but from my spouse as well.
Now if I can just old out until the first week in June when I go to Destin with my Awesome Aunt and cousins. OK so maybe by next month it'll be better. Things on the lake will pickup and he'll be around my department less. Thank God we don't work together, we'd be divorced already.