Chase

I love my children equally but differently. Which is easy one is a boy the other is a girl. I want my daughter to be strong and independant, to be a leader and succeed in her chosen path. She wants to be an OBGYN. She decided that when I was pregnant with Chase. He on the other hand wants to play football for the Stilwell Indians, Sooners and then Dallas Cowboys or Green Bay or whatever team is currently playing. I want my son to be all those things men are supposed to be in addition I want him to be a very loving person, whose not afraid to show it.

But I was so very proud of him today. He took the little cocktail, got all droopy and sleepy. Put the gas mask on (remembering very little of it) and in the recovery I wanted to cry seeing him so small on that big bed with an IV in his hand and O2 mask. But he followed all the instructions they told him. Even when he didn't want to eat or drink he did his best. Sucked it up like a little man. They were really good to him, let him take his bear blankie and his bunny, which they put a cap and mask on for the surgery.

I held it together........ until now. When everyone is alseep and I can cry and release all the tension of the day. Of waiting in the Surgery WR and holding your breath everytime the phone would ring. I've been thru the hospital waiting room TOO many times in my life.

He's gotten sick a couple of times, I think due to the liquid Loritab. He has to have that every 4 hours so I'm waiting until 12:30 to give the next dose. But I wised up and gave him some med to keep him from throwing anything else up before he went to sleep, so hopefully it will last him until morning where maybe he'll be able to eat something besides a little cup of applesauce.