More of Mom's writing

Mom & Dad

All I have now is memories of mama and my dad.
Daddy's been gone a long time now, but it seems it was
only yesterday that I could hear him sing.
It seemed he was always singing at work and at play.
He'd get a twinkle in his eyes and start singing some silly little song
that would make the day go faster when we were in the berry patch.
I know that Mama missed him when he went away. But she had to
stay a little while longer till all of us were grown.
Now she's gone to heaven where she'll never be alone.
She'll walk hand in hand with Daddy all around God's throne.
And some day we'll all meet them there when we all go home.
June 6, 1984

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They called us to the hospital one Thursday night. They said she had a stroke, we all knew it was a matter of time.
We sat there all thru the night. I wanted to pray for her, but all I could say was "God why are you letting her suffer?" The next day they said she was weaker. I sat there in terror and watched her breathe. Each breath got slower until the very last one. We all knew the exact moment she'd gone, and I heard someone screaming "Mama don't leave me" and I realized it was myself. I just wanted to die with her. I think I would have too until I heard someone say think of your girls, they'll need you more than ever. Through all the days ahead I prayed for strength that I would get through one day at a time.
Its been almost three weeks now, and I still can't believe she's gone. I get this deep down lonely feeling and tears start falling. Sometimes I miss her so bad I wish I'd died with her, but I have to go on living, and take care of my family. Cause I know thats what she'd want me to do.
So please God help me before I go crazy, cause I need lots of help from you and my family. I'll need their love and understanding to get me through the rest of my life.

June 12, 1984

I remember the day she passed away someone made me go into the room and she was awake and I tried to take her hand, she pushed me away. It hurt until I read this letter and I remember her talking about that day and how she didn't want me to ever go through that, she didn't want me watching for that last breath and waiting for the next one. She knew she was going home.