Love

Did you know that the word LOVE is mentioned in the Bible 314 times, FRIEND 56 times. Last Wed, I had to speak at the See You At The Pole. Completely scared the living daylights outta me. I am not one to speak in front of people. My topic was school, so I went with the friends thing, after all they are the ones who put the most pressure on us. Judging who we talk to, how we talk, dress etc.. They are also the ones to put pressure on us to do things we don't want to do. So as my circle got larger, I became more nervous and to be honest I don't know that I got my point across. I made it through the morning, so that in itself is a great accomplishment.
I try to express to the youth group about how important love is, if we all love each other which might sound corny, but all other things will work out. Not to say that we have to let people run us over and do things we don't feel comfortable doing.
Pray for our youth, they really have a tough time, just being themselves. Pray for our church and that God will provide us with a music leader and give the youth a Youth pastor, not just a leader.

Blogging

I haven't blogged in forever it seems, usually forget about it. I don't want to have a blog where I am constantly gripping about the daily goings on in my life.
I do have to admit that facebook seems to have taken the place of this site.
I am currently praying for a new job, one that will still be with the city, I won't lose any of my years of service etc.. Just depends on if the current court clerk can retire early. It would mean working daytime hours only, holidays and weekends off. I could actually have a life again. May be able to lose some weight, work out and maybe even work out with my kids.
So anyway that said if you read this post say a quick prayer that I can move into the position.
Thank you and may you have a blessed day!

Jan 2009-Jul 2010

Rainbow Bridge
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable.All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor. Those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent. His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together, never to be separated again. Saying Goodbye is never easy, especially to a four legged family member. That sweet personality can never be replaced. Dazz will be in our hearts forever.

Who knew that this would be the last pic of Dazz.

Happier times.

When we first got him, he was always ready to play, always ready for love. I told my kids that God's love is like that of a pet, no matter how many times we ignore him, curse him, kick him and push him away, he's still right there just waiting for us to accept his love.

Been a while..

It's been a while since I've blogged. LONG while. I can't really say that alot has happened. My baby started first grade and my sweet daughter started high school. I pray the dramas of being a teenage girl are easy on her. I know some girls can be so petty and childish.
I had an awesome time at church last night. Got a much needed blessing. I'm gonna hold on to it with both hands and feet, like a monkey hanging on a tree.
I know I have a purpose in this life, I'm just not sure what that is yet. Hopefully I will find my way there.
I have agreed to help a lady with school pictures. Its a pretty big job, hopefully I do a good job. I'm a little nervous, trying not to be. Gonna be a long week, working 11-7 then taking pictures, sleep, try to attend the revival and work again.. I pray God gives me rest when I can get it.
Love you all, God Bless!!

Spring Pictures

Chase took spring pictures at school and they were HORRIBLE!!! They didn't even have him smile, nothing. So I decided to take my own. I like this one, Gordon don't for some reason.

This one is my favorite. He's got that sneaky little guess what trouble I'm gonna get into smile.

He's growing up so fast, gotta slow him down or I'm just gonna cry!

OMG.....

We got a call this morning, a couple found a 2 year old walking down the road, no one around. No houses close. Turned out he was about 1/2 to 3/4 mile from where he was staying. He was within a 1/4 of a mile from a low water bridge. He was barefoot, wearing jammies, top was half-way on. And as if that's not bad enough, he was left in the care of his fourteen year old sister whose LIVING with her boyfriend. Oh did I mention that she's almost NINE months pregnant and her boyfriend is 16.
I can't even begin to describe how sick I felt looking at her. Who do you blame, I can tell you who I blame.. HER MOTHER! She's not old enough to even date, shouldn't even be alone with a boy.
All I could think was my 14 year old at home sleeping and how sweet and innocent she is. I know this because she's rarely outta my sight. I always know where she is and I also talk to her. Right now she thinks the whole idea of sex is gross and I want to keep it that way til she's 25 or 30.
The little boy was the cutest, could say a few words, so many things could've happened to him. People fly down the road he was walking on. I keep thinking of all the things that could've happened to him. But I know he was in God's hands. I pray that CW does their job and that he remains safe.

Completely Grossed Out

A little bit ago, I answer the phone. On this shift, during this time of week its usually an ambulance call or SO checking warrants. I see an out of area, heck outta state number, just figure its an alarm call.
Yeah an alarm of a different sort. I answered Police Dept. The sick male proceed to ask me if I can handle what he's got, among a few others that I can't stand the thought of repeating. I kept telling the guy he had the wrong number and that this was a police department. Guess that excited him more. I cover the mouth piece and yell for the officer in the back and the guy starts repeating what he said to me. Phone call ended with the officer saying sure come on by the PD and lets see what you got.
I ran the number thru the computer and the only thing I could get was it was a cell phone from around the Washington DC area. So if some guy comes in here with his goods hanging out. I will find a cattle prod and give the guy something to really get off on and locate the officer for telling him to come on down.
So that said I really feel the need to bathe.

What the heck??!!!!

I know I said no more depressing blogs, but......
OMG some days all I gotta do is open my mouth and I tick people off. If you happen to have an opinion and state it firmly its "Oh someones in a bad mood"
I'm having to pull a double shift, which is fine. I really want the comp time, less vacation time that I have to use. So my spouse shows up and he's questioning some calls etc.. that I've taken and starts acting all know it all. First of all I did my job and what was required if someone else didn't its NOT my fault. OK so yeah I got a little snippy. I feel like I'm on the freaking other side and being interviewed for a murder. Every little thing I do is questioned til I'm ready to throttle him. Which then leads me to wanting to scream this is my job STAY THE %&@ OUT.
We are both in law enforcement and its a small town so there's going to be a little bit of involvement.
BUT... when half the time he knows more about what's going on in my work place than I do?? Oh and to top it off everyone on day shift knows about everything I do, from female problems to how much weight I've lost to OMG. I don't know what to do, I have asked, even threatened him to stop telling my personal business. Those guys are my coworkers, not my friends. HELLO my friends already know whats going on with me. Well at least the things I'm willing to tell.
OK I really need a vacation from not only work, but from my spouse as well.
Now if I can just old out until the first week in June when I go to Destin with my Awesome Aunt and cousins. OK so maybe by next month it'll be better. Things on the lake will pickup and he'll be around my department less. Thank God we don't work together, we'd be divorced already.

I love this...

I got this in an email and I loved it.

Cowboy Jakes Prayer

Jake, the rancher, went one day
To fix a distant fence.
The wind was cold and gusty
And the clouds rolled gray and dense.

As he pounded the last staples in
And gathered tools to go,
The temperature had fallen,
The wind and snow began to blow.
When he finally reached his pickup,
He felt a heavy heart.
From the sound of that ignition
He knew it wouldn't start.

So Jake did what most of us
Would do if we had been there.
He humbly bowed his balding head
And sent aloft a prayer.

As he turned the key for the last time,
He softly cursed his luck
They found him three days later,
Frozen stiff in that old truck.

Now Jake had been around in life
And done his share of roaming.
But when he saw Heaven, he was shocked --
It looked just like Wyoming !

Of all the saints in Heaven,
His favorite was St. Peter.

So they sat and talked a minute or two,
Or maybe it was three.
Nobody was keeping' score --
In Heaven, time is free.

'I've always heard,' Jake said to Pete,
'that God will answer prayer,
But one time I asked for help,
Well, he just plain wasn't there.'

'Does God answer prayers of some,
And ignore the prayers of others?
That don't seem exactly square --
I know all men are brothers.'

'Or does he randomly reply,
Without good rhyme or reason?
Maybe, it's the time of day,
The weather or the season.'

'Now I ain't trying to act smart,
It's just the way I feel.
And I was wondering', could you tell me --
What the heck's the deal?!'

Peter listened very patiently
And when Jake was done,
There were smiles of recognition,
And he said, 'So, you're the one!!'

That day your truck, it wouldn't start,
And you sent your prayer a flying,
You gave us all a real bad time,
With hundreds of us trying.'

'A thousand angels rushed,
To check the status of your file,
But you know, Jake, we hadn't heard
From you in quite a long while.'

'And though all prayers are answered,
And God ain't got no quota,
He didn't recognize your voice,
And started a truck in Minnesota .'

BETTER KEEP IN TOUCH!

Growing up...

I can't believe the school year will be up in just a few short months. A couple weeks ago Bethany came home saying they needed to get their pictures turned in for the Power Point at Graduation. I'm like isn't it a little early?? But you know if you have to scan 50 kids pictures and each of them has 3, you do the math. So we did go through pictures and of course the ones I like, she's like NO. I have the cutest one of her naked little bootie on the bed, she's bout 6 or 7 months old... That was a huge NO. She had such long hair when she was little, then at 9 she had to have it cut. You know it never grows back the same.

So anyway it was a semi warm day so we headed outside to take a few shots, she of course had to have her guitar.... This one she looks so serious and so pretty. This is her Taylor Swift pose. LOL!!

I just love the ones of her laughing. We'd take a picture and she'd start laughing saying she felt so stupid, so of course I'd snap pictures.
Gordon loves this one, she looks like she's having fun and looks like she's playing.

Gordon hates this one. I think the only reason is because she looks like a grown up young lady. That and you can pretty much tell that she's a girl......

After posting about 8 pictures on MySpace to get some family opinions, she went with the close up photo. (first one posted here) She's going with the one of her laughing sitting in the chair as the wallets that she gives to her classmates.

I know that I will cry at some point during the graduation. I won't be able to help it. Not to mention that my baby will graduate kindergarten. I just can't catch a break this year.

But for now, my son will still hold my hand in public and I'm gonna hang on as tight as I can and he's gonna have to cut my hand off to get loose...

Grateful

I love technology. Anything to make what I do easier and more fun, I am all for. But the small modern things we all take for granted are surely missed when taken away.
Due to the Ice Storm we had, I had been without electric for NINE days. We had a generator, but you can't run the simplest of things like hot water tank. Vacuum, and of course we can't forget that wonderful thing that dries your clothes.
I did the old school method, boiled water on stove top for bath. I don't have a clothes line, so I had to drape clothing and towels across my deck railing. Jeans being a little stiff you can handle. T-shirts came out okay. But OMG the towels were so stiff I swear it was like drying off with sandpaper.... Poor Chase, I dried him off and he was like ouch.... what's wrong with the towels?
So Thursday morning, I was awakened by someone messing around in the back yard, I'm trying to open my eyes (only been asleep for 1 hr) when I hear the generator go off. My first thought was that someone was steeling it, so I look outside and saw an amazing sight. Two guys from the electric company. They disconnected the generator, turned my power on, replaced the cover on the meter and I had electric. It was awesome. I started to run out the front door and give them a big hug, but I don't think they would've been thrilled with my Grumpy jammies and my hair going in a hundred different directions. They may have hit my Jeep trying to leave out.
So after that I lay there trying to go back to sleep, but kept thinking about how much laundry I needed to do and that I really wanted a soft towel after a hot shower. And how nasty my carpet was, so I just got up. Did laundry, vacuumed the floors, other mild cleaning and took a hot shower. I think I used all of the hot water too.
So God Bless the makers of modern technology. I am truely grateful!!

Sweet Girl

I was watching the new earlier and there's a little girl in El Reno, Ok. Who has set up cans around the businesses to try and raise money to buy two bullet proof vests for the police departments K-9's. She's adorable, hope she makes it. Hopefully this link works.

http://www.newson6.com/global/story.asp?s=9769314

Iced In

Being iced in the last couple of days has reminded me of the time when I was a Jr or Sr in high school. We loaded up with Aunt Pearl and Uncle Lloyd and went to Berryville (I think) to spend Christmas with Bennie. We get there and get iced in. Didn't lose power or heat so that was a plus. I can't remember his half's name at that time, just that she had two daughters and one red headed creeeeeepppppyyyy son. I was afraid to go to the bathroom alone, I'd come out and he'd be standing there like he was trying to see thru the door. We watched the news, the roads, day two we saw some melting. So we loaded up and headed home. Got to Siloam and as soon as we saw the Oklahoma sign, Aunt Pearl said Praise the Lord we're home. Mom agreed with that. I always try to remember what that felt like. Coming home. I bet Mom and Aunt Pearl had that same feeling walking through the gates.
That memory leaves me with a few mixed emotions. Sadness of missing two of the most amazing women in my life, Laughter at seeing us piling into that car with just a little melting ice. Fear, because what on earth were we thinking getting into the car with Uncle Lloyd driving on ICE?
Mostly it leaves me with a smile. I may not have had much growing up, but I've had enough laughter and smiles to more than make up for the things I didn't have.
Here's a pic of my Dogwood in the front yard, still holding up. Thank God. This is the southeast part of my yard. You can see some broken limbs, some limbs on the power lines (not enough to kill my power, so who knows)

This was taken Tuesday night, Cotton Wood tree in back yard and you can see the snow coming down. It was sooooo cold in the house. No heat, no hot water, no power of any kind. It was crazy trying to entertain a 6year old boy. Reading and coloring was boring.

I do think the ice in the trees is kinda pretty, but not if I'm freezing my butt off. Thankfully we were able to borrow a generator so Chase could have his video games and TV. And a kerosene heater for a little bit of heat. My whole body is stiff from trying to sleep rolled up in blankets to keep warm. Power went out at work as well, had generator for computers and radio, but not for the heat, not sure what genius did that.... So no relief there either. I do have all power at work, so I'm warm while my babies are at home, rolled up in blankets with a little kerosene heater going to keep warm. Maybe I should've just brought them with me....

I'm thinking I should seriously consider moving some where warmer. I told Gordon I was moving to Florida, he said uh??? I said O you could come visit..... :D

No More depressing blogs...

My blog has been so depressing lately. I have been stressing but there are reasons to be happy. Bethany has been taking guitar lessons, she's had TWO. The instructor said she is doing very well. He's surprised she's never had lessons. Said she was where some of his 6 week students are. She's picking it up pretty quickly. She's pictured below with the guitar she got for her birthday back in Nov. Pink of course. Thanksgiving she had to show it to her Uncle Ed, who told her that it was in her blood that she would be able to play, she hoped it was true. And it pretty much looks like it. I forgot to tell her that my dad also played. Not sure if he still does. She was super excited when she opened the case. The look on her face was awesome, well this smile never left her face. I had to throw this one in, she's also a HUGE Twilight fan, has read all four books several times. So I had a chance to get her a cake made with "Edward" on it. She didn't want to cut it. I think the cake was almost as huge of a hit as the guitar.

So for all of her months of begging and pleading for the guitar and lessons. She won. But she did promise that if I got her a guitar that she would write me a song.... So once she learns to play and can play a few songs. I'm going to remind her of that. LOL!!

I'm hoping once she gets a few chords down that she can show a few to Chase. I bought him his first "guitar" when he was about 2. I've got some video of him strumming it singing "hey goolooking whatcha got cookin...how bout sumthin to eat". Its just the cutest. I've got to get it transferred to DVD though.

We finally managed to get our hands on a Wii, which was a chore. So Chase has pretty much kicked my butt in about every sport. He LOVES video games, so at least with this one, he actually has to move. OMG my arms and backside are sore from the boxing. Now if only I could get my hands on the Wii Fit....

Job

I sent my resume off, so we'll just have to see how that pans out. My husband was not very supportive. Kept giving a ton of "reasons" why it wouldn't be worth the 7,000 a year pay increase and the drive. Thing is he's overly involved in and with my job. He's friends with the chief, more so than I am. So not only do I hear the complaining from those I work with, then I get it at home, complaining of those complaining. I have tried to tell him that I'm off work and don't want to hear about it. But it seems to fall on deaf ears. I just believe your work life should be separate from your personal. No mixing of the two. What are you supposed to do when your hating your job on a day and you should have your spouse to vent to and he's too busy telling you what someone else said or how you shouldn't say this or you shouldn't act like that. Makes me feel like a child.
To top off my week. I get into bed already in a bad mood from listening to the above. When I wake up Friday with the worst pain I've had since childbirth. I dealt with it from 9am to 11am, couldn't take it anymore and finally made a trip to the ER. After urine and blood tests, I'm given a shot and a prescription for pain meds and sent home. Found nothing, apparently just cramps. Almost makes you feel like a wuss and pretty stupid to boot.
My child bearing years are done, why can't they just take the freaking things out? If someone had told me that once you have a tubal that cramps are a severe pain in the butt. I would've chosen a different method.
I could seriously kick Eve's butt for disobeying in the garden of Eden.

Needing a Change

Ok, so I don't have a problem really with the job I do. But what I do have a problem with is EVERYONE getting by with everything. From not logging information down, not passing information on to the next shift. Wearing hooker boots to work, I mean really we don't need to know what your part time job is!!!!
I really hate having such a bad attitude this early in the new year. I also hate feeling like the work I do is not apprecieated. I mean you might as well be a total screw-up because no one will do anything. I want structure, rules. Rules are good. They keep you on your toes, make you want to work harder, do better and make you look better in the eyes of the public. Our public thinks this department is a joke, seeing some of those on duty, I can't really blame them.

There's a job that's opened up, about 25 miles away. Its 4 dollars and hour more than what I'm making. Its not dispatching, its more admin work than anything. I have a couple days to decide if I'm going to apply. I just don't know yet. There are the pluses: More Money, daytime hours, no spouse being involved in office gossip and bringing it home to me to just piss me off even more.
I've been back here for 3 years now, I had to fight for my vacation time that they tried to take away. I am 5 minutes away to pick up the kids from school if their sick or whatever.

I'm just not happy with alot of things really. When I do try to talk to my spouse about it, he blows me off or says I'm grouchy. I'm usually thinking..... ok well we won't get into what I'm really thinking.
I know its just a job and I can be replaced tomorrow and with my kids I can never be replaced, but shouldn't you be somewhat happy with your job?
Spouse doesn't understand, he's been with the same department for 23 plus years. He has never talked over with me when he's thought about or did transfer to a different area. But then men don't worry about having to pick up the kids or making sure you're home enough with them either.
Ok, so I'm just gonna give it up and leave it in God's hands.

Prank Callers

Some days this job is just unbearable, then there are the days that you just can't help but laugh.

I got a phone call earlier..

(me): ??Police Department

Caller: Do you have an officer named Shula or Shuler?

(me): No, might try Sheriff's office.

Caller: I already did, they don't. What about a game warden or highway patrol?

(me): No, one in the area with that name, what can I help you with?

Caller: I received a call on my cell phone, was on voicemail. Said that I had too much air in my rear end and if I was caught back out on the street that they were going to give me a ticket. I don't need a ticket

(me): I'm sorry but officers don't have anything in their car to show how much air is in your tires and theres no chargable violation for that and they wouldn't call your cell phone.

Caller: Ok, I'll call you back with the name, I know he gave his first name.

So about ten minutes later she calls back.

Caller: He said his name was Don Shula.

(Me): (Trying to keep from laughing) I'm sorry but, it sounds like someone has pranked you. Shula is a former professional coach.

Caller: Well how would he get my number? Does he live or work around here?

(Me): No I'm pretty sure you were pranked. Shula probably has enough money that he wouldn't take a pity little job in law enforcement. Someone just pranked you.

Now, for this pic below. I don't know where this place is, but I'm gonna search it, because I'm sure they could use a dispatcher. I'd work nights, weekends, holidays. Whenever I'm needed cause I'm just all about the job. HE HE especially if the view is this awesome!!!!!

Closure

My husbands father passed away yesterday morning while having breakfast. Heart attack. Very sad. Gordon is taking it pretty well actually.
Here's my issue. The person he was married to, if you want to call her a person.... (anyway) she informed the children that there would be NO funeral, No type of service at all. She's sending him for cremation and then spreading his ashes at the lake.
I'm sorry, but what the hell? How can the children come to terms with the loss if they have no way to say goodbye? How cold do you have to be to not have anything?
I guess that's why you'd better have a will.
To me it would just feel open ended, not even a place to put flowers or just say goodbye.
I seriously hope that woman crawls back into the hole she crawled out of.

Thanksgiving

I'm so very thankful for my family. To me they are the best. I seriously hate for the family gatherings to end. I know everyone has to go home. I just miss them so much. Guess I was kinda spoiled as a kid. We used to be together all the time, one of us at another's house or vice versa. We had so many get togethers we got on each others nerves. As we got older each one moved away, there are still clusters in a few areas.
I feel like they live forever away. I have no family in Stilwell and at times seems rather lonely. I miss going to church with my family.
Each person has a special meaning to me. I love them more than anything. If they needed a body part I'd give 'em what I got.
I was so tired Thanksgiving day, I had been up for over 24 hours. I still didn't want to leave at the end of the day. After the day was over I went home slept and then on to work. I downloaded pics from the day and basically cried. Because I'm so blessed to have my family. Looking into some faces I see mom. A reminder that she's with me everyday in more ways than I knew.
Bethany had a great birthday, (publish blog later)she got a pink guitar. She's now nervous about learning to play, but Uncle Ed told her it was in her blood. She asked me if I thought that was true. I said sure, must be look how many can play. Nearly all of our family has a musical ability. It would be awesome if we could get everyone together to sing and or play music. Record it for the younger ones. I wish we could've back in the day when they all sang together from the bars to the alters.
So I thank God greatly for my wonderful yet sometimes crazy family. I love you all.

Frustrated

I posted this and emailed a few before the election. But the whole issue really bothers me, especially being a Trooper's wife. Trooper 198 pleaded for his life and was ignored. Now the murderer is pleaing for his. My first thought is why should we listen to his pleas when he refused to listen to Nik's... And then for these judges to uphold appeal simply because Nik was a Christian and had a strong belief in God, Does that make his life worth any less. Why do we have freedom of religion if they are just going to slowly take it away from us? I was just sick at first and now I'm just angry. I want to do something. To take stand and stop sitting in the shadows watching everything I believe in being tossed into the garbage.
This Trooper gave his life in an attempt to get meth off the street. His family has been put through hell the past few years, they deserve justice.

Subject: Oklahoma Judges Date: Thu, 23 Oct 2008 16:40:12 -0500
To remind all Oklahomans that when you vote this year you can't forget about Nik, The man who killed him AND the Judges who appealed Malones case...
Who is Nik- Nikky Joe Green Oct 1, 1968- Dec 26, 2003
Nik was a strong Christian. Probably the biggest I've even known.Attended Church at Devol First Baptist.He was the Youth Minister there. He was a Son, Brother, Nephew, cousin and uncle. He was married to Linda and they had 3 beautiful girls. He worked for the Oklahoma Highway Patrol as Trooper 198.
On December 26, 2003, Nik left his wife and three girls at home in bed as he left for work early. He went to check on a stray car on the side of the road less than one mile west of his home. As he approached the vehicle he realized it was a mobile meth lab. Nik attempted to make an arrest however the suspect put up a struggle. After fighting for a while the suspect was able to gain control of Nik's weapon. The suspect then took Nik's life, after Nik begged and pleaded with the man. Nik told him of his wife and three girls. The man still shot Nik in the head. The man then left. He left Nik laying in the ditch.We later learned that the mans name was Ricky Ray Malone. He was from Duncan, Oklahoma. A town only 50 miles away from Devol. Malone was an ex firefighter for the city of Duncan. He was discharged for the use of drugs. Malone was sentenced to the death penalty after a long horrifying trial for the family and friends of Trooper Nikky Joe Green. Since Malone's sentencing he and his lawyers have appealed. They won the appeal based on these things:1. God was mentioned during the trial-they believe the jury was persuaded with Religion...yet Malone was told to swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth-on the Bible. 2.Linda-a grieving widow cried while she gave her testimony and because she spoke of God whiling speaking of her late husband-whom that anyone who knew him knew he was ALL ABOUT GOD! 3. In the upcoming trial God will not be able to be spoken of. Emotions can not be shown.Is this fair? NOT hardly!